Are You Loving Yourself Properly?

I respect women for being selfless and for being so concerned about the well being of others. For many years, I remember as fashion trends would change, I would get new clothes but my mom would wear the same things. She had no problem splurging on me but when it came to herself she would go without. I've watched my mom go out of her way to help so many people especially when they are sick. If you or your child is sick, one phone call to my mother and she would be there to help you. It's that example of selflessness that has molded me into the way that I am today. I later inherited her self care habit too: SOLO trips to the movies! 

Philippians 2:3-4

3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or empty pride, but in humility consider others more important than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. 

However, I notice you pay a cost when you put the care of others above yourself. Do you ever wonder, what would your day be like, if you treated yourself the way you treat other people? When someone is in need, I rush to comfort and help them but when I am in need I realize that people don’t respond the way I do for them.

Is that a problem? No.

Is it time to nag about how people don’t treat me the way I treat them? No.

It’s time to treat myself just as well as I treat other people.

After surviving another crazy allergic reaction due to an insect bite, I decided that I wanted to feel pretty and not like Will Smith in the movie Hitch! So, I took time to straighten my hair, got a massage, got my eyebrows done and made enough time for a manicure and pedicure.

Self care is very important and you should treat yourself just as well as you treat others. You are the only YOU! Take time to marvel in your beauty, to pamper your body, to stimulate your mind. You are more than your role as a wife, girlfriend, friend, daughter, cousin, employee!  You are a beautiful soul and is important that you take time to love yourself.  Make time to focus on your purpose, your goals and your dreams.

I pray for your well being, I pray that you see yourself as important and make time to love yourself the same way you love on others. I encourage you to find time to love on yourself, the same way you make time for others. You are that important and you are definitely worth it! Now, go dress up and take yourself on my date!

Seasons Change and Relationships Do Too

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

Ecclesiastes 3:1

In a long term relationship, everyone knows you have ups and downs but not everyone is strong enough to withstand the downtimes.

Face it, THINGS CHANGE!

Seasons Change, Schedules Change, Priorities Change. You have times of limited communication and times filled with an abundance of communication. You have dreamy dates and then sometimes just enough time for a quick hug. There are times when you feel super connected and times when you feel super disconnected.

YOU CAN’T GIVE UP!

Relationships are hard work and people give up on relationships and marriages way too quickly. The moment things get a little uncomfortable they flee. When they stop getting what they want, it’s time to break up! NO! NO! NO! This is not how it is designed to work. When the seasons change, we change with the seasons. Look!

 The weather is going to cool down, so what are you going to do? You are going to grab a jacket, a scarf, some boots?

When the seasons change in your relationships, YOU CHANGE TOO

If something isn’t right, if something is going wrong, you fight in PRAYER! Everyday I take time to whip out my journal to pray for my boyfriend. I’ve seen God answer my prayers like overnight shipping. If you believe God is  in your relationship,  don’t be overcome by the rough patches, difficult seasons or trials; they will strengthen your relationship and teach you great lessons but only if you don’t give up! Go to God and allow him to show you what to do in that season, see if you should put on more patience and understanding and take off some of that selfishness.

It’s okay if things change,boo. LEARN & GROW!

Let it Marinate!

Are you in a relationship?

Yes honey, Let it marinate. I’m not talking about over night either. I’m saying give that relationship time!  Allow your hearts to become tender and flavorful for each other. It’s not a secret that relationships rely heavily on communication and forgiveness; but those qualities take time to master, so don’t rush the process.

I once believed that if I was in a relationship for a year then it would be a GREAT idea to get married. Boy, was I WRONG! After about three months, I could tell you all of my beaux’s strengths but it wasn’t until about a year that I could identify the true weaknesses.

I encourage you to always opt for a slow cooker relationship rather than a microwaved relationship. Learning and growing together over time creates a strong bond…so simmer down and cook it slowly.

Anyone can find a microwave relationship, it starts fast and ends fast. It’s not as tasty or beneficial,so take your time. There is no rush!  Your biological clock is not ticking and be HEALED of that baby fever in the name of Jesus! Hehe!

Strong relationships are built on a strong foundation

That foundation  is God, honey! The male and female are both imperfect but must  submit to God and learn to work together. Let’s be honest here, EVERYONE has strengths and weaknesses! It’s your job to admire and embrace the strengths but work through the weaknesses. It’s not easy but it allows you to grow as a couple. Allowing your relationship to marinate, creates a rich and flavorful bond. Don't be fooled, REAL LOVE takes TIME!  

There is beauty in the process, don’t rush it, enjoy it.

Stop trying to rush down the aisle and take time to  get to know them; people can put up a good front for a year. But, time will help reveal the truth of their character.

If you don't take your time now, you'll mess around, get married and wake up to a stranger, a liar, a cheater, a thief or worse...someone you actually hate.

But, I'm Still Single ...

If you aren’t married! You’re single!

Yes, I am in a relationship but my goodness I am still my own person. My boyfriend and I are complete opposites.  I am vibrant, adventurous and full of ideas and energy. He is more conservative, stable and reserved. He helps balance things out but this is not about him.

This is about being single! YAY!!!

When you are dating/courting you are TWO completely different people and it’s important that you don’t lose yourself in your relationship. If you are not careful, you can get completely invested in his dreams, his vision and his plans that you completely neglect your own. Dating or courting should never distract from your God-given purpose!

I AM A SINGLE WOMAN and I take myself on dates often and you should too!  I go on spontaneous adventures, go out to eat, try new things ALL alone! It sounds crazy but if you are confident in who you are alone, then you will be confident in your relationship. 

Your single season is your selfish season, don’t miss out on it!

If you are single woman who is not in a relationship, it can suck when you desire to be in a relationship but the right one hasn't come along yet. But let me warn you now, just because you get into a relationship doesn’t mean that loneliness goes away. Contrary to popular belief, your beaux won’t always be there for you 24/7. So, you better learn to ENJOY YOURSELF.

Buy yourself some flowers

Currently, I am obsessing over Ethos Vegan Kitchen and learning how to make healthy food… I frequent my favorite restaurant a few times a week ..ALONE! I haven’t tried everything on the menu yet but I'm getting there. 

BBQ Chick'n, Mash Potatoes, Collard Greens & Coleslaw

INVEST in yourself.

 Invest your time, money and energy into YOU! 

Simultaneously, I am starting a business and well that has been my dream for many years. I have always dreamed of being an entrepreneur, traveling the world, and helping others. Everyday, I clock in for my business. It’s not easy but it is definitely a journey. I get excited to learn new things and follow my dreams. 

Working for my favorite company! ;)

Before you Say I Do, I encourage you to truly get to know yourself, indulge in your passions and live out your God-given purpose.